Scary Christmas!

December 11th, 2007

Did you all think i was never ever going to blog again? Sorry no such luck! I’ve just been taking my down time very seriously and trying to power through the holidays with my good cheer intact. We’ve had some bumpy moments, but overall, we are still pretty joyful here in the buttonbox. I warn you now, this is gonna be long rambly post that no doubt will wind and wander into pointlessness at any turn! :)

We finished this one rather massive project finally…it took alot longer than i originally thought it would, as these sorts of things often do! Using the tute from Allsort’s blog for her super cute red and white advent calender, we made a red and green “secular countdown” version. Both my mister and i worked on this project together and i think it turned out to be really cute! Beastie is loving opening each little felt envelope to find his daily treat, too.

Alas, xmas is not really my best holiday, so my other mantle decor is alittle, well, awful! I insist on trying to collect Rankin Bass Rudolph stuff and my dream is to have the entire mantle covered with misfit toys someday! Raven was home this past weekend, so we fianlly go the tree up and decorated…it’s beginning to look lot like Christmas!

There is no real rhyme or reason or GOD FORBID, a THEME to it…many of the ornaments are heirlooms, others are just silly little things we’ve added on along the way, as well as the more pedestrian “filler” stuff. I am still convinced that the tree topper (which we got for our very first holiday together all those long years ago) is some form of device that my mister installed to contact UFOs to come and take him back to his people…swing down, sweet chariot, stop and let me ride..we are ready to make the Mothership Connection, baby! :)

Proof that we are pretty dang geeky around here! :)

Years ago, My Paper Crane had posted about this really cool holiday wreath she’d made with origami peace cranes. At the time, my oldest son was REALLY into origami (the kid is the McGyver of paperfolding) He loved the idea, so we made one of our own….it’s gotten a wee bit crushed and croggled over the years, but it’s still one of my favorite decorations, and a wonderful memory of the two of us crafting together! I miss him when he is not here, and he is REALLY on my mind alot right now because he’s having surgery tomorrow to correct his “impressively” deviated septum. He’ll be Raven the Red Nosed Emo, the poor thing. I’ll be so glad when it’s all over so he can breath and i can stop worrying!

Along with decorating, we also baked a pie while he was here….tart apple, ala Calamity Kim. Yum! Looks so pretty hanging out on my grandma’s beautiful vintage organza holiday apron…i still remember seeing her wear that at our family xmas gatherings, she was so soft spoken and ladylike, and always had a hankie in that little pocket….her hair was always arranged in the most spectacularly beautiful pin curls and finger waves….she was a real southern beauty.
The pie was pretty dang good too…i hope grandmama is looking down at me and smiling right now as i try sooooo hard to create some fusion of old and new traditions for my family. It’s true we are pretty non-traditional people…it’s caused a bit of family friction, unfortunately. But we love our family, and we are amazingly stable and happy. That has to count for something even if we are not doing the church thing. It really blows my mind that you can be happily married, gainfully employed, have happy healthy kids, choose to be a stay-at-home-mom rather than put your kids in daycare, etc etc etc…but still have a negative image to people who should know and love you best, just because you are alittle “different” or choose not to be part of any form of organized religion! I don’t get it. I am all about living and letting live, minding my business, and loving people for who they are rather than who i WANT them to be. Alas, not everyone feels the way i do. It’s sad.

ANYWAY, that is all i have to say about THAT!!!!

(cue Nightmare Before Christmas Music)

Meanwhile, Halloweentown has indeed been making Christmas…..i had no choice but to press the pause button on the other dolly i was working on to make this girl because it was ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT…sometimes my muse can be VERY pushy.

You may think that too much holiday joy can’t be lethal…but you’d be dead wrong!

Holly Humbug was never very fond of the holidays, but one year, she somehow found herself caught up in the joy of the season. Maybe it was too much eggnog that caused her tragic tumble into the holly bushes but the poor poor girl suffered too many punctures to ever celebrate again in this lifetime! Good thing they have great undead holiday parties too! :)

Holly is the first of two “holiday edition” little dead dollies i’m working on. I’ll get her listed on Etsy soon. Meanwhile, she has a frozen little sister who is demanding my attention, as well as a rather cob-webby looking absinthe sipper in the works for a certain VERY PATIENT knittin’ mad Hattress! I better get back to my stitching.

I hope everyone is enjoying the season! I’ve missed “Bloglandia” so much, and Big Daddy promised that the Buttonbox will be all pretty-fied and nice again by the first of the year. I have alot of catching up to do!

Huge hugs to you all!!!!


Lightning strikes, maybe once, maybe twice.

October 11th, 2007

and it lights up the night.
And you see your gypsy,
you see your gypsy.

To the gypsy that remains,
that faces freedom with a little fear,
I have no fear, and I’ve only love.

And if I was a child, and
the child was enough,
enough for me to love, enough to love.

She is dancing away from me now.
She was just a wish,
she was just a wish,
And a memory is all that is
left for you now.
You see your gypsy
you see your gypsy
you see your gypsy

Counting Down

October 8th, 2007

I finally mustered the energy to drag out the Halloween decoration. I have not begun to decorate in earnest, but i did put up the “count” down calender for the beastie to track the days til our favorite Holiday.

Also, isn’t this apron the coolest??? I feel like the biggest heel for not remembering the name of the lovely lady that i got it from at last years’ Mutation…she was super sweet and had so many funky aprons that it was a nearly impossible choice…but in the end, the classic movie monsters won my heart and now this is one of my most prized pieces of aprony goodness! Just get a load of this fabric!

I’ve been trying to find some of it of my very own to no avail. I guess maybe it’s out of print. And that is just downright criminal. I won’t be truly happy til i have a movie monster skirt, i tell you.

Anyway….i have been a busy busy girl. Practicing bellydance every chance i get…i am officially addicted. Also, i got new skates of my very own so no more skanky rentals for me! I am really rusty, but every time we go to the rink i get better and better…..i do so love to skate! It make me happy that my oldest son digs it too…we have so much fun when he’s here and we go rollin’ :)

On the crafty front, as usual i have so many things going on at one time, and my craft ADD is in full effect. But, i did complete a few little things over the past few days…here are 900000 photos of my labors…..

“Grand Salon” corset purse, One side is all about big black satin bows, the other side has burgundy satin yoyos and vintage button embellishments. You can’t see it, but it’s lined in burgundy satin with lace accents randomly sewn in. I think it came out quite nicely.

At the request of my dear friend who owns “Belladonna’s”. i created an “ancestor dream pillow” for Dia De los Muertos. I embroidered a simple sugar skull, gave it yoyo eyes cut from vintage tea dyed muslin and sewed on vintage button embellishment. It’s stuffed with lavender, rose petals and chamomile to promote relaxation and dreaming, and added a few drops of copal oil to honor the spirits of ancestors who may wish to visit your dreams :) It really is a wonderful relaxing and exotic scent., and i may have to keep it for myself! LOL!

I loved making the Muertos banner so much last year that THIS year, i have made three more! :) This the the first complete one, and i think it’s even BETTER than last year’s version. I may sew on a few pearls on it to give it even more “bling” :)

OF course, more fabric cuff bracelets this year as well. I think these may be my favorites so far! Inspired by Calamity Kim’s Arsenic and Old Lace theme, i have a whole “collection” of cuffs with that theme in the works. Some will have tiny pearls sewn onto the webs to give it a “dewy” effect. Very very happy with this idea!

Regretfully, i cannot get a good shot of this…I used images from antique anatomy illustrations to embellish glass icon candles. It’s a crappy photo, but when the candle is lit, the skeleton glows in the most spooky and marvelous way! Not really for the faint of heart, but i love it. :)

So yeah…busy. Very very busy. :) And there is still so much to be done! Cutting out more skirts, making more dollies, and finishing up the last of the Halloween mix cds (which some of you will be finding in you mailboxes VERY soon! FINALLY! LOL!) ) Also I am happy to report that the Gypsy apron for Isabel is all done, aside from sewing on the ribbon waist-ties and bell embellishments! More on that tomorrow! For now, i think i have bombarded ya’ll with enough of my yammering! I hope everyone is well and wonderful! See ya tomorrow!

Playing with Paperdolls

September 21st, 2007

I think my Muse is very confused about the seasons… here i am, making spring-y skirts just as Autumn starts making herself felt here the Buttonbox. Following where my creativity leads me, even if i am off by a few seasonal changes.

The truth is, i deliberately wanted to work with bright, sunny, happy fabrics and colors in an effort to “reset” my brain, to use eyecandy to soothe and cajole the “sad me” to come back into the light! It’s been working pretty well so far, i think, and i am really really pleased with the paperdoll skirt. i really love the sweet girliness of the print, it looks so vintage and has an “old time” feel to it, even tho’ it’s actually a newer fabric. The yellow gingham is cut from a soft vintage sheet…and the rickrack and eyelet just seemed like a natural addition. It just wants a pretty yellow cashmere twinset with a sparkly vintage brooch to finish the outfit off, don’t you think? i am still bemused by my recent love of yellow, but i am going with it! Whatever makes me feel “right” is the “right” way to go right now.

I did finally give up on getting my meds. All of the confusion and drama with the insurance company was causing me to become almost frantic and even MORE anxious and depressed than i already was, which just sent it all over the top. It got to a point where i just couldn’t do it anymore. i’ve just let it go, and stiffened my upper lip, determined to make it through this “dark patch” on my own. I know i can do it, i just have to work on it, really really hard. I have to force myself to do things even when i don’t feel like it, and do little things to take care of myself….more bubblebaths, more bright colors, a bit of wine and chocolate, skating with my oldest son, practicing my bellydancing in front of my cutting table as i work late at night, listening to all the beautiful “shoegaze” music i can stuff my ipod with. Lots of deep breath, letting go, opening up and closing my eyes for a moment til the scary bits pass by.

And it’s true, i am slowly starting to feel my creative urge clamoring for release again, which is more healing than anything. Getting things done, thinking up new projects and planning for Mutation and for Halloween. And not least of all, trying to work my way through the backlog of things that need doing!

Dear Isabel has waited so long for a “gypsy pockets” apron to call her own!

This time it is much harder than the first one i made…i want the wonderful person who commissioned it to love it as much as the first version, but i can’t make a carbon copy. It’s been a real challenge to come up with something “the same” but entirely different! Also, metallic embroidery floss is from the devil., but i do like how it turned out as an accent in the stitching.

I am allowing myself to get lost in the details, making the most of what i have to work with. Forgiving myself for my slowness.


I really want to thank everyone with putting up with my recent mopiness. The support and encouragement makes my heart feel strong….you are all wonderful. Here’s to hoping i will be building nests and chasing faeries again soon. Wishing you all a wonderful Friday!


July 1st, 2007

Ahhh, Calamity Kim… dear wonderful friend and my enabler! She’s always challenging me and getting me to try new stuff. This time, she encouraged me to get in on the latest Tie On On challenge….i’d only done it once before , and then my slacker nature took hold and i never did it again. I suck at deadlines, so challenges are usually a bad bad bad idea for me. But i agreed this time and we decide to work in tandem on this challenge…the theme was “pockets”, so we came up with the notion of “what a gypsy would have in her pockets”. She shared some cool fabric with me, and off we went!

I had Stevie Nicks in my head, as well as my usual fascination with southern hoodoo and divination. I imagined that a gypsy apron would be kind of shabby and a bit patchy, but still pretty and covered with baubles. I decided to make it reversible and collage-y as an homage to my dear friend Kim. To begin with, i decide to use some more of that vintage curtain as base of the apron, it seemed nicely shabby, appropriate for the aesthetic i was going for, and i love working with it. In my stash, i have had that wonderful burgundy upholstery fringe that my mama gave me years ago…at last, the perfect project arrived to use it….

This pocket is an embroidery i did of my ubiquitous palmistry chart onto a piece of satin from a vintage dress, lined with spiderweb fabric, and trimmed with lace i tea-dyed with chai tea. It’s embellished with a vintage rhinestone brooch and a couple yoyos made from the scraps, and a pretty heart-shaped button.

Now we get REALLY scrappy…

This pocket is actually a sleeve of a vintage dress. It made a perfect pouch-y pocket, i thought, and seemed very “gypsy-esque” to re-purpose in such a way. I trimmed it with some lace, sewed on tiny brass bells, and gave it a beaded button and ribbon closure. Some of the fabric Kim shared with me was a fantastic lotteria-card print….i cut a few out and handstitched them on like patches.

My imaginary gypsy would have protective spells woven on her pockets, she has conjured La Arana to gaurd them! I hand sewed on a scrap pf spiderweb lace, a La Arana lotteria card, and a little rhinestone embellished spider from a broken hairclip.

For a finishing touch, i pinned on a flowery brooch from my stash, and gave it a wide satin ribbon for the waistband and bow.

The reverse side has been nearly impossible to photograph for some reason. Alas, this shot is the best i have managed. It’s spiderweb and bat tulle, with a “secret pocket” ( i am looking at YOU, Charlie!) made of glittery spiderweb tulle, and there is one more protective spider embellishment hiding there too!

NOW, she has an awful lot of pockets to fill…what would she have in there?

She’d have a nice big fat roll of cash (cut from the money-print fabric Kim shared with me) A poppet-dolly for hoodoo work (from my voodoo doll collection! This one came from “Marie LaVeau’s House of Voodoo” in New Orleans, a gift from some one i knew years ago) She has a bundle of dried rose petals, lavender and amber-chips tied up with pretty satin ribbons in a lovely hanky , herbs for spell-work! A little heart for love charms. She has a little glass bottle for potions and of COURSE, some tarot and divination cards.

This project was SO much fun, although it took a very very long time to complete…all the hand stitching, embroidery and little detail work took more hours than i would like to admit! This apron is UTTERLY impractical, but i think it was worth it for the fun i had making it. IT is also very interesting to see how TOTALLY different Kim’s gypsy apron is from mine, even tho’ we used some of the same elements. Go forth and check out her GORGEOUS work! You will be astounded!

Hope you are all having a MARVELOUS weekend!


unintended absentee

May 14th, 2007

Wow, i really did not mean to disappear! I got swallowed up by life…..which is not truly a BAD thing really….just have been very caught up with my sewing lessons and my family and my recovering, blah blah blah. I was out of touch so long that the idea of getting back INTO  touch was overwhelming…emails piling up, folks thinking i am either dead or the rudest chick in blog-land. I sure don’t mean to be and i am trying to catch back up. If i have missed your email or comment, PLEASE bear with me while i get my sea-legs back…i promise i am not ignoring you!

And wow again, now i am all tongue tied and don’t have anything exciting to report about really….i have been loving my adventures in sewing. I am working on a hideous pair of pants for practice and, for FUN, a re-purposed skirt that hopefully will turn out now that i have a little better understanding of what i am doing when i sit down at that infernal machine of mine. Next class, i am starting on a dress!!! I am incredibly excited about it, and worried that it is a bit ambitious, too. We shall see.

Mother’s Day was lovely…i got a long-wished-for copy of the Apron Book, and also, because i am a greedy and terrible girl, i got this new dress for myself. I love it! I have never had any yellow clothing before aside from my Yellow Submarine and Blondie teeshirts! So this is a big switch from my usual pink and black staples. But, hell, why not, right? TOWANDA!

Also, today is National Wear Your Apron Day! If i was doing something fancy, this is what i’d be wearing today….

My beloved Calamity Kim gnome apron over my new dress! Oh, i adore it. And no, i never ever wear it…if it got messed up i’d just die! It is for FORMAL occasions ONLY, ya’ll! :) Maybe if i have a tea party or some other swank soirée  in the future i will rock this frou-frou ensemble…but today it’s just a black polka-dot dress with my FAVORITE pink apron from Pink Trees as i do laundry and cook up a batch of meatballs and sauce to put up for tomorrow’s dinner. Maybe if i am feeling brave, i will get Big Daddy to take a pic of my overwhelming grimy hotness when he gets home, in the spirit of participation and all! LOL! (insert smirk here)

So that’s about all from the buttonbox today…playing catch up and all….hopefully we will be back to our regularly scheduled babbling very soon! :) Love to you all!

my wonky valentine

February 2nd, 2007

Someone who i love dearly love has a birthday ONE DAY before Valentine’s day…i wanted to make something silly and heart-covered for her….and decided on a frilly frou-frou completely over the top reversible apron.

(apologies for the dreary photos…it’s gray and miserably lit here today!)

As you have no doubt come to expect from Amanda-style sewing, there was no pattern involved in this process…just me and my epic battle with trying to make something pretty without slipping too far into the wonky-zone. (And yes, i did enter the wonky zone.) But, i still have that ever-so pleased with myself feeling for COMPLETING a project! I have been having a problem with that these days….finishing what i start. I hope this trend continues! And i hope my funny Valentine likes her wonky apron, stitched with love!

What’s Cookin’ Apron recieved at last!

July 21st, 2006

Mary (From My house is Cuter Than Yours) got her apron yesterday! And she likes it, she really likes it! LOL!

Now i can talk alittle more about what i made for her.

It was kind of serendipitous, actually. Right around the same time that i signed up for the swap, i had the idea for a “Rockin’ Housewife” apron. When i drew Mary’s name, i knew i had to try to create the “vision” that i had for it…Mary is pretty rockin’…i had a feeling that something like this would be right up her alley (or i HOPED it would!)

Ya’ll know i like to recycle and reconstruct and all, and this apron is no exception. In a past life, it was a schoolgirl-esque kilt-y kind of little skirt that i once LOVED to wear with big stompy Tank Girl boots and mesh tights…then i got pregnant with my second son, quit smoking and prompty kissed my teensy waify little figure goodbye forever. But i have held onto the skirt for years, knowing that it had a higer purpose. So i cut it and frankenstitched and transformed it from a skirt to an apron!
Then it was time to make the pockets.

I drew my ubiquitous skull doodles onto the fabric and embroidered over them, and lined them with some cute red and white gingham. So far so good!

Then i made a little “patch” embellishment out of the gingham, black rick-rack and some fun skelleton fabric i have been hoarding.

Now the hard part…putting pockets and the patch ONTO the apron. The patch was not so bad…but the pockets. Oh my God, the evil evil pockets. I pinned them and re-pinned them a million time trying to get them JUST SO. And because of the pleats on the apron, i just could not make the suckers lay right to save my soul. This went on for WEEKS. Finally i got them to a point where i was semi-satisfied, and i knew i had to just do it and stop fretting over it. So, i first BASTED them down. Yes, i BASTED. This is not typical Amanda behavior at all. But i wanted to make damn sure those evil pleats did not bunch up and get wonky while i sewed the pockets on. They turned out fine. In the end, i think :)

Then for my favorite part…the chain! i got the wallet chain apperatus, and sewed little fabric loops onto the waistband for it to snap onto.

On the end of that chain are metal measuring spoons! I don’t know, i thought is was funny! :) She can remove the whole thing, or add other stuff to it or whatever. Customizable, baby! Hahaha!

I made a matching hot pad and wrote down recipes for her onto these really really cute monster recipe cards i got from Fishcakes designs. I also found her a vintage polka-dot apron that looked like it might match her amazing kitchen, and made her some CDs in a snazzy brown-bag CD book. I totally forgot to take pictures of of that part of the swap package, but she put some great ones up on her blog if you want to go look:

I could not be happier that she likes it all! What a great swap this was! It stretched my imagination and caused me to learn more about sewing, which a a VERY good thing (when in doubt, BASTE!) LOL! I got a ton of wonderful things from my partner and i got to send good stuff out too! I hope there’s another apron swap one day, because i would love to do it again! Thanks again, Sara and Mary, for hostessing!

What’s Cookin’!

July 16th, 2006

Waaaaaaaaay back in early June, i found a HUGE parcel on my doorstep. Turns out that Shanna from Pink Trees was my secret swap partner for the What’s Cookin’ swap! There was a tiny mix up about the due date, so i got my goodies very very early….which was WONDERFUL, but OOOOOhhhh so hard to keep a lid on it til the official due time! Because what i got was just so over the top that it made me do a happy dance right in the middle of my living room!

This is one fabulous apron, ya’ll! I wanted to get cute pictures of in actually ON, but my hub is too busy with other stuff to take pics for me today, and i could not stand to wait anymore. So Mizz Scarlett is modeling it in all it’s pretty wonderfulness. It could not be more perfect for me…the colors are just right, and i LOVE the scalloped hem and the adorable tiny bows! The pocket is just the right size for my needle case, and little scissors and my ipod too! It is made from that fantasically swanky Denise Schmiddt fabric that i have been seeing all over blogland these day…WOW! So fancy and cute!!! It is beautifully made and i adore it. As if that was not enough, there was also a recipe box that she HANDPAINTED to match my kitchen!!!!

The gnome perfectly matches the fabric i used for curtains. It’s just so great, i can’t praise her enough for the amazing detail on the tiny gnome. Just too much!!!! It’s one of my favorite things EVER, and it will become an heirloom for my family because we are compiling all our best recipes to keep it it for our kids to have one day. Inside was cute vintage recipe cards too, in addition to the recipe cards (that she DESIGNED HERSELF!!!) she sent for delicious Chicken Tetrazinni, Big Red ice cream and Hershey cake! Yuuuuuuuummm!!!

But, there was STILL MORE in that big box of joy!

All my favorite condiments, my favorite cooking tools (wooden spoons, baby!) and beautiful beautiful vintage Irish linen tea towels!!!! By this point of the unwrapping process, i was feeling very faint and quite overwhelmed by it all. Because, oh my god, there was EVEN MORE! Someone fetch the smelling salts because i totally got the vapors!

Shanna sent the package around the time of my birthday, so she sent me a ton of birthday goodies too! Lovely vintage fabric (which i am hoarding to make skirts from when my sewing skills are WAY better…i DARE not risk ruining it!) and a bunch of pretty vintage trims and notions too! Just unbelievable to have been spoiled so much…but as i said before, the VERY best thing i got from this swap was a new friend. Shanna, you are so awesome, i don’t think i will EVER be able to thank you enough for making me feel so special!

I want to post about the apron and stuff i made for MY recipient…but she’s has been away and i don’t think she’s seen hers yet. So my anxiety is still very much alive and pulsing annoyingly the back of my mind! I guess we all know who got who’s name now, so ya’ll know i drew Mary from” My House Is Cuter than Yours” fame…. and one of the hostesses of the What’s Cookin’ swap to boot. Eeek! I felt like i had to REALLY try to step up and make something unique and fun! This is why i have been in such a tizzy over it. As soon as i get the word that she’s gotten it, i will post more about what i made.

This was without a doubt one of the coolest swaps ever! I am so glad i got in! I discovered some great new blogs and met some really wonderful new craft-girls too! I hope that we all stay in touch and continue to support each other in all our craft endeavors! Viva la APRON!!! :D

Mopey Sunday

June 25th, 2006

Today just bites.

My best pals from Savannah set out this morning to come up for a belated birthday visit, but they ran into such terrible storming that they decided to turn around and go home rather than drive in those awful conditions. I don’t blame them! I would much rather they stay home and be safe!!! But, it’s always a serious bummer when something you look forward to so much falls through. I think Nature hates me today! The house is all tidy and prettied-up, i made a big batch of lemonade cookies, have mojitos ready to be sipped and meat marinating for a very yummy dinner…so i have that “all dressed up with nowhere to go” feeling. And i am bored!!! Boredom is not a usual occurance for me and i don’t like it!!!! It’s all rainy and gross outside and i am moping like a big old cry-baby. Blah.

But, enough of my whining!

Last night, i finished the third doll for the paper-doll swap…Naughty Faeries rear thier silly heads YET AGAIN!

She did not turn out exactly as i have imagined, because i had some problem
with the execution of the idea. I wanted her to be a ” Naughty Faerie
Theatre”, with her skirts as a kind of curtain framing the bad
faeriegirls underneath..

..the idea was to have a nice demure lady with
some serious cheekiness hidden inside! I think idea did sort of come
across, but not so much as i wanted. I fiddled with skirt/curtain
forever, and just could not get it “just so”. So, i finally just let
it go, and i AM happy with her for the most part, but i still have
that mildly disastified feeling that comes when you can’t get a piece
to look EXACTLY how you’d planned. Oh well. Learning to let go is a GOOD thing, right?

Another good thing is that yesterday, big daddy painted the little hanging shelf-thingie that i got a million years ago from the thrift store. It was baby blue, but now it’s pretty jade-ite green! He hung it in the kitchen and i put some of my teacups and teapots on it, and hung some vintage arons on it too. The yellow floral apron belonged my great-grandma, according to my mother, and the patchwork one was my grandma’s. I love them! My little apron collection just grows and grows :)

It occurs to me as i look a at this picture that it seems rather crooked…i assure you, it was the PHOTOGRAPHER’S error, NOT the hanger of the shelf. The shelf it perfectly level, very much UNLIKE said photographer! LOL!

So i have this long quiet sunday ahead and i am not too sure what to do with myself….i am not used to having everything DONE like this! No dishes to wash, no laundry to fold…. whatever shall i do??? :)

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