Yesterday, we had to take Raven back to Charlotte…and now it is so quiet here! The little beast is cranky and missing him, and i am just sorta droopy and unhappy today. It’s hard to let Raven go after a longer visit, because we get accustomed to him being more “involved” in the day-to-day of our family. Missing him terribly today.

I guess i have gotten alittle slack with the blogging, i was so busy with the kids last week, and i have not made anything new to talk about. Things are going to be a little chaotic for a while because my younger sister is going to be moving in with us for a few months while she regains her footing and readjusted to the ’single life”. We have lots to do to get ready for her to move in…the spare room is packed with junk that must be dealt with, finally. I am so glad we are going to get that done!!!!

Meanwhile, it has been all about the OUTSIDE lately. Lots of playing on the swingset and running amock in the back yard. My little garden is coming along. As of now i have planted chili peppers, eggplant, echinacea, lamb’s ear, zucchini, orange mint, lemon balm, basil, lemon thyme, miniature roses, zinnias, oregano and cosmos. IT doesn’t look like much right now because most of the plants are tiny, but here’s where it stands:

Also, my rosebushes are doing wonderfully, and the honeysuckle is starting to REALLY get blooming, so the backyard smells heavenly

Over the weekend, we definitely got back to our roots! My sister, the boys and i went out to the “you pick” strawberry patch and picked/ate a huge basket of berries. It was so fun watchng Raven chase bugs, and the little beast graze on berries! On the way home, we went by the little local farmer’s stand and bought some herb plants and a couple pounds of sweet peas. I have not shelled peas since i was a little girl on the farm. I used to HATE shelling bean and peas!!! BUt it was wonderfully relaxing and meditative to sit there with my sister, doing that “chore” i so used to dispise!!! Next year, i am putting in a row of peas because we enjoyed it so much. It brought back so many memories of sitting on the back porch with our grandparents, talking. laughing and shelling HUNDREDS of pounds of bean and peas. They always grew enough so that the whole family could fill up their freezers with home-grown produce. It was really neat to “go back” like that over something as simple as shelling peas! And they were delicious to boot! Yummmmm!
After the peas were shelled, cooked and eaten up with a wonderful roasted chicken with mashed potatoes that big daddy cooked for us, it was cocktail hour. I had never had a cosmopolitan til that evening, but i am VERY well aquainted with that lovely beverage now! Hahaha! I lost count of how many we drank,but big daddy never let our glasses go empty and we watched “Cannibal Women of the Avacado Jungle”. (This is a great movie to watch with a heartbroken sister recoving from a breakup….i think she was ready to make up a batch of guacamole herself by the end of it! LOL) By the time i stumbled off to bed, i was way past tipsy, and well into the land of drunk. Aside from that, our weekend was pretty quiet!

Now i have my craft room back, i intend to get back on track with the crafting. Hopefully i will have some new projects to talk about in my next post. Until then, i hope everyone is having a lovely spring day!

As i mentioned in an earlier post, my older son is home this week for Spring break. Which is great! Raven is the coolest 14 year old in the world!

The only drawback is that while he’s home, my “studio” reverts to “Raven’s Bedroom” and i don’t get my little sanctuary while he inhabits the space. The sewing machine and craft materials get moved aside to make room for Game Cube and keyboard and guitar…all the fun detritus of a teenage boy. It gets that weird goaty-boy-like smell up there and it takes on a whole new ambience. Not that i really mind much. i spend most days missing him so much, it’s a treat to have him home for an extended stay, even WITH the wierd teenage goat smell! LOL!
BUT, as always, when i can’t get the time to get up there and make stuff, i am suddenly FLOODED with ideas for things. Why does this happen?? If i had free reign of the room, i would putter around trying to work out what to make or do. But because i can’t, i now have a ten mile long list of plans and ideas. I went thrifting earlier in the week and got lots of funky printed vintage sheets to make aprons and maybe a skirt. Yes, i think i am finally ready to tackle clothing contruction. How hard can a simple A-line skirt really be, right? (HAHAHAHA! Check back next week when i am crying and shaking my fist at the sky in frustration as i fight with this so-called SIMPLE project)

I am in the throes of craft withdrawl. Dreaming of the sound of my crappy sewing machine struggling along, and WUSC playing late at night on my crappy radio. Bet you when i finally DO get to make someting, it will not be nearly as fun as i feel like it should be!

Go me!!!! I am FINALLY getting more up on Etsy! :)  Is it a big pain in my ass with the boys running amock all around me? You better believe it! But i am plugging along and have gotten almost ALL the bags up, cosages and candles and such. I have alot that i still need to list, but it feels good to finally JUST DO IT!

Sara runs one of my very favorite places to get funky art bits and bobs over at Manto Fev (http://www.mantofev.com/index.html) I cannot say enought good things abouthte super-cool stuff she sells and the very good service she provides.

Recently, her husband, Dante,  was diagnosed with  a brain tumor (which he HILARIOUSLY named “DUBYA”) . You can read all about his experience here:  http://dubyathetumor.livejournal.com/

Thankfully, they were able to remove it and he is recovering very well. The down side to it all is that they are overwhelmed with medical bills. Dante is a teacher, and, unfortunately,  we all know how much this country undervalues teachers by the absolute pittance they are paid. So Sara adn some of her friends put out a call for art, crafts and supplies to be collected for a raffle to raise money to help pay the medical bills. Since i already had a big stockpile of stuff ready to take to Mutation, i sent some stuff to help out.

They have it all organized now, and the raffle is ON! There are several lots of VERY cool art (some by some pretty famous collage artists), books, supplies and all kind of great stuff! If you want to help, please check it out!

http://www.dantesalvatierra.org/raffle/

It is GOOD to help!

i have this need to try to make everyone around me happy. I love to give presents, to make baked goods for everyone around me. I want to  spread good will and cheer and love. I want to kiss everyone’s owwies and make it all better.

But there are some things that i can’t fix today.
Two of my most beloved people in the universe are having very bad days. One was a car crash. The other in a relationship crash. I know that the both of them will ultimately be ok. But i hate that powerless feeling i have when i can’t slap a band-aid on a problem or prescribe two xanax, a pound of chocolate, a bottle of wine and call me in the morning.

i am angry that love’s are hurting. But at least i know why i was obviously meant to miss my mom’s court date today. I am glad i was able to be home adn availble for the other people who might have needed me.

Today is a really wonderful day.

Today, my mother is in court, finalizing her divorce from my soon to be ex-stepfather.  After all these years of wishing and hoping for better things for my mama, it’s finally happening.

I am not going to drag out all the old dirty and foul laundry attached to the truly evil man that she is divorcing today. It doesn’t matter anymore. I won’t lie and say that there are not some  incredibly hurtful and frightening memories that will be with me forever…but i survived, and i think i turned out to be pretty ok in spite of all that happened. And it is nearly over. It really really needed to happen over 20 years ago. and now it finally is.

It is killing me to not be there with her to hold her hand and see it through to the end together. As usual, a baby sitter fell through, and i am not about to subject my little one to his ugliness by taking him with me to court. I wanted so much to look that terrible man in the eye and show him tht he did break me or ruin me. Even though he did come very close to tearing my mother and i apart, but he failed.  I wanted him to look at us there together, strong and HEALED, in spite of it all. I wanted him to see that he is nothing to us now but a bunch of bad memories and a big mistake quickly fading in the distance as we move on into a brighter time.
I can’t put into words what i am feeling right now. i am overwhelmed with joy that i am finally getting closure. The worst chapter is over. My mom is so wonderful, she has overcome so much….i can’t wait to see what blooms now that she is out of his poisonous shadow. I know it won’t be easy…changes on this scale never are. But the future seems so much better now without that man involved in it. I also feel a deep sadness that it took mama this long to end this thing, and we had to suffer so much more than we ever should have. Some wounds don’t ever heal completely. I am crying for the 16 year old Amanda, and all that happened to her so long ago.
But it is  done now, and i am closing the book and shelving it the darkest most obscure part of me so that i can forget.  I feel lighter.

And all i want to do this moment is hug my mother. And maybe drink alot of champagne to celebrate closure.

In case you are wondering what to do with all those peeps you bought in easter clearance!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5337456

Ahh, yes…it’s one of those whiny posts. Feel free to stop reading now..i’ll understand!  I just need to vent!!! You don’t need to come along for the  ride if you don’t want to hear all the moans of a fat housewife with PMS.

i don’t know what is wrong with today.  I am sulky and crampy and very displeased with my world.  The house is a mess yet i just don’t have the motivation to get up and clean it. I was going to hang out  at a new friend’s today, but the beast is being super whiny and clingy so i can’t go anywhere because it will mean hours of hell for Big Daddy…i know it is not his fault entirely…he has not felt well in over a week now. But after the stress and lack of BIG FUN at Mutation (aka Guiltfest 2006) last weekend, and the long sick week with beast and big daddy,  just want to escape, or SOMETHING. I guess it could be worse…i am so glad that i never got sick like the boys did. And Raven is home til next weekend, so i get an extended visit for a change. I plan on bug hunts in the park and ice cream and godzilla movies and giggling at cheesy 14 year old humor. i love Raven!!! The only GOOD thing about him not being here full time is that i get to be HAPPY FUN MAMA, not EVIL DISCIPLINE MAMA. Which i enjoy very much. He confides in me and that makes me feel awesome that he knows he can trust me with all his teenage angst, secrets and miseries.

But not today. Today would be one of those days when i wish i was alone in the house to sew and drink a bunch of wine while listening to MY music instead of kid shows or corny monster movies on TV or the Gamecube blaring Destroy All Mosnters Melee. (Both my sons are incredibly Godzilla addicted) Beau hooked me up with THREE new (to me) Alpha albums that i have not gotten to delve into, as well as some Massive Attack from a new bonus disc. It has a BEAUTIFUL song called Silent Spring. The vocals are done by THE GODDESS, Elizabeth Fraser. (Oh, how i miss her voice. I will never ever stop mourning the demise of the Cocteau Twins) hmmm…i feel the need to make a new mix CD coming on………

Anyway, i digress. i wanna listen to my new music and languish alone with my PMS and a bottle of wine. And some kind of fat-filled salty foods. And some chocolate eggs. The easter bunny is having a very hard time staying away from those baskets he made for the boys! Raven is so lucky with a basket full of choxie and Lindt. He better share with mama OR ELSE.

So there you have it. Things are looking blah in Stepford today. I sure hope everyone else is having a much better day!!! Perhaps when i can see the bottom of this wine glass i am holding, i will be a little perkier. Or maybe after three or four bottom-viewings. We’ll see.

It’s thursday, and that means it’s hangout with my sister day!!! We have not hung out since she got back for her cruise earlier in the week. Tragically, her relaxing vaction cruise turned out to be not so good, and she had a horrible time on a bad boat. So she is full of horror stories, one of which was that she got some overpriced and quite unwonderful (downright SCARY, actually) spa treatments. Ionathermie. To be avoided at all costs. So to make up for it, we had home-made facials today. Mostly free and absolutely lovely! I picked a big bowl of flowers and herbs, added some essential oils, poured on the boiling water and VIOLA!! a fantastic facial steam made of fresh spring herbs and flowers!

We steamed, and i broke out some of the rose soap i made for Mutation to exfoliate! We were pretty blissed out on floral goodness by now! Then a goblin green clay mask, some rose petal witch hazel toner and all kinds of festive anti-aging and lip plumping stuff Lala got in a gift bag from Bath and Body works. I feel like a pretty pink blossom now, all pampered, pretty and drowsy. I don’t know why we don’t do this for ourselves more often!!!!

In craftier news…i have finally succumbed to the apron-making urge. Last night i just could not think of anything else. I got such a great apron from the Deli-Made.com ladies at Mutation, i lovelovelove it so much! I think it is sad that aprons fell out of fashion…they are so cute, and USEFUL!!! i love having big pockets like that. i now feel that i need an apron for every day of the week, and therefore must MAKE some RIGHT NOW. i have all kinds of ideas for different designs wirling around my head. So i stayed up late last night and in my usual bull-in-a-china-shop sewing style, i made my very first attempt at sewing myself a cute apron. Pattern??? We don’t need no stinkin’ pattern! Needless to say, it is far from perfect, but it WAS my first try, and it is perfectly funtional, so i feel good about my first shot. i think it will be good for gardening.
Here it is, modeled so nicely by my sister!

Gotta love my pant-less kid. I can’t keep clothes on the skinny little heathen these days.

So it has been a fantastic day thus far. And i am ready for a nap now!!!