Poor neglected blog!!! oh, i do miss you!
But, i must admit, things have been getting progressively calmer and and better behind the scenes of my “buttonbox”. Still working my way thru the big burnout i’ve experienced from the hardcore crafting i’d been doing. I’ve really needed to stop and think about my creativity and what i do with it. While preparing for the Halloween open house, and for Mutation, i was incredibly focused, and working constantly on the “business” end of my crafting. Which is NOT my favorite end. When i started making things, i never imagned it as a biz! I made things for the sheer love of creation, with no thought of selling. Then it kind of grew into a blog, and then into craft fairs and etsy shop. And i am grateful and happy that it did! I love blogging and the craft community. And i almost cry with the wonder and joy that overcomes me anytime anyone loves what i’ve made enough to purchase it. But, The “BUSINESS” side does not come easily to me. I find myself judging the worth of my creativity based on some monetary value rather than the happiness i felt while i was MAKING, feeling as if i ‘d somehow failed for each piece that doesn’t sell. That is a crappy feeling and it’s not “ME”. I am an “artist” NOT a factory!!!!!
So after the smoke cleared from Mutation, i saw what a disaster the REST of my life had become! My house, a mess. There was so much laundry piled up to mountainous heights that i could not even see the top….Halloween decorations lingered until after Thanksgiving. My family had probably forgotten what i even LOOKED like since i spent so much time upstairs in the craft room doing my thing. I was exhausted. I really really needed to just STOP for a while. And that’s where we are at this point. i am taking more time for my life outside of craft room…for things like this……
….and i am starting to feel more at peace, calmer, better rested….less frantic and nervous and overwhelmed. I am slowly getting my household back under control, all those little things that build up to massive proportions when you neglect them can be alittle scary when you look at the big picture! I have alot more cleaning and de-cluttering to accomplish, but it feels good to be in the process. Things like snuggling with my beastie while reading Peter Pan, spontaneously baking a loaf of banana bread just because, playing with the puppy, Stopping to take notice of how lovely the fall leaves look and smell, watching silly TV with Raven and big daddy…..i’d really really missed all that! And i am savoring it like never before. And in quiet moments i am still creating….A dolly for Miss Christa over on GypsyJunk, my poor neglected tree skirt embroidery. Taking it slow, enjoying each stitch as it comes.
The most remarkable thing of all is that for the first time in who-knows-how-long i feel the first stirring of Holiday Spirit. Some of you may already know that i am not the most holly-jolly holiday kinda gal, and once Halloween passes, i am pretty much in Grinch mode as i hunker down, waiting for spring to come and perk me up again. Amazingly, i am finding myself anticipating the holidays, dreaming of cookie-baking and trying to find imaginative NON-mass produced gifts for the kids in our family. I really want to put the tree up, but we will wait til Raven is home again before we start decorating. In the mean time, i am have been inspired to make Beastie’s first-ever advent calender, thanks to a seed planted by Calamity Kim. I’d already been mulling it over, but yesterday i stumbled over this cuteness and i knew i just had to make it. I like the simplicity of it, it’s TOTALLY do-able in a no-stress kind of way for me. Hopefully i will start on it this afternoon, and i am really looking forward to it!!! I don’t know what kindled this holiday happiness in me, but i have a sneaky suspicion that i caught it off all you guys like a case of cooties!!! What did ya’ll DO to me??
Ahhh well, even Halloweentown can do Christmas sometimes, right?
Anyway, i hear my life calling…… i have laundry to fold, books to read, and a puppy who really really wants to play fetch! Better get to it!
Wishing you all a wonderful Monday!!!